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2011-2012

By Ben Dickinson

__Taipans - 21st Apr (HKCA Saturday Championship Division 2 Semi-Final)
By Paul Molloy

The Centaurs caused the upset of the 2012 Saturday League season by defeating the previously unbeaten Taipans at PKVR on Sat . The win not only puts the ragtag Centaurs into the Grand Final, it also catapulted the team into Div 1 for the 2012-13 season - a triumph of the spirit worthy of its own motion picture (based on actual events)

The cocky Taipans won the toss and elected to bat first on the all-artificial PKVR surface. They were immediately at sea against the clever opening Tanvir-Nas (2wkts) bowling attack, never being given the opportunity to play their natural hitting game against the swerving, wobbling, seaming ball. Ayub (2wkts) joined proceedings and continued the batsmen's tortures, dropping his left arm offies wherever he pleased. Taipans went to drinks 3 wickets down with just 50odd on the board but should have counted themselves fortunate to have lost so few wickets after repeatedly playing & missing against the most disciplined of bowling. (Those 3 bowlers went for a combined total of just 43 runs from their 20 overs).

Sensing the need to push things along, the batsmen played a few shots after drinks but only managed to double their score whilst losing all their remaining wickets. Molloy (6wkts), Frith and the recalled Tanvir closed out the innings against a panicking middle and lower order, supported by some good catching and generally sharp fielding (Campbell 2 catches, Hemshall 3 catches, Nas 2 stumpings). The Taipans all out for an even, and very gettable, 100 runs.

Imaginative captaincy by stand in skipper Hemshall resulted in a slightly rearranged batting order - Tanvir & Nas opened and, after the early departures of Tanvir and K Frith, Ayub strode to the middle to face the fury of the Taipans attack. Sensing an opportunity to run through the batting, the Taipans big guns bowled with accuracy and hostility, but were seen off by the cool quality batsmanship of Nas (24) and Ayub's priceless rope-a-dope strategy. The Taipans huffed and puffed but couldn't blow Ayub's house down. When he was eventually castled, Hemshall steadied the ship with Nas, later joined by Darren Jensen after N Frith's early departure made it a family Pair for the day. Darren (33) was on song from the first ball, and he & Keith calmly steered us to the brink of victory whereupon Keith was unfortunately dismissed, leaving Centaur rookie Peter Gilbert to calmly knock off the required couple of runs as our anxious lower order batsmen willed him on.

So one of the great Centaurs victories positions us to play for our first silverware since the end of season knockout Cup comp in 2003. Premiership glory beckons against Mainlanders at KCC on Sat 28 April 2011.

___HKCC Witherers - 17th Mar

Wowsers - we got dry humped in this one....

Ditherers won the toss and batted. We bowled and fielded pretty well actually but their openers batted beautifully with one of them carrying his bat for 106*. We tried 9 bowlers and picked up 4 wickets but special mentions to Peter Gilbert on dayboooo who bowled well for his 5-0-35-1. There were also good catches from me (naturally) and Frithy K (surprisingly).

And then we chased....

Sadly we were up against this chap:  http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/content/player/10799.html

Why we were up against him in the HK Saturday League Div 2 only the teets at the HKCC can answer (Paul Molloy if you please) but there you go. The only happy person was Hemmers who effortlessly went into David Steele mode circa. 1975 (http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/content/player/20345.html) and proceeded to score a magnificent 4 from 39 balls before (and I am not making this up) running himself out....

At the other end there was what can only be described as carnage. Simon 'Chef' Cook (you see what they did....so CLEVER) took a hatrick in his second over (the last was Frithy and it is fair to say the crowd saw that one coming) and managed to be on another in his 4th over...finishing his spell and effectively the game with 5-0-24-5. He was quite good...although I think there is a case for saying were rather gifted him some of these with some poor technique. I can say this as I top scored on the day with a magnificent 24 that took the side to the brink of victory, just failing to get us home by 111 runs. There were other notable contributions from Rohan Scott and Babar.

What a shambles though...

MOM: A very unbiased Dickinson although Nas and Gilbo bowled very well
Special Mention: David Steele

__KCC Crusaders - 10th Mar

The Crusaders are the team everyone loves to hate, primarily becasue they are so dislikable as a collective with the added markdown of having Anthony 'Barney' Barnet playing for them. They are also a very fat team. Benny Harris, making his long waited return to Taurs colours rightly pointed out the the restaurnats at KCC must do a cracking trade.

Taurs won the toss (again...) and inserted. We got Barney and their new tubby Aussie opener out cheaply (the latter to a great catch from Neil F) and pegged them back with excellent tight bowling and well supported fielding. This was right up to the last 3 overs which suddenly transformed the innings as they scored 50 odd runs, the last 3 balls all disappearing for 6....so pretty disappointing in the end but we were still just about favourites.

That tag did not count on our batting though. Hemmers and Dazzler went cheaply again. Nas and Frithy K took the score to 50 odd before also falling in quick succession and when Tanvir disappointginly skied Damien 'Killer' Kelleher's last ball to the keeper we were right in the smelly stuff. Harris (23) and Dickinson started to get a few runs going but sadly we could not get close and subsided to 141 all out chasing 187-7.

This was a poor performance and a real shame given the early fielding display and the oppo...

MOM: K Frith

__HKCC Gap Ramblers - 3rd Mar

After a few weeks off from our previous victory over Laguna Gully we were back in the saddle at the HKCC for our first run at one of the Club sides we all love to loathe.

Crisis struck the team on the morning of the match when the skipper awoke fully clothed to discover he had completely b*ggered his wrist getting dump tackled on the stage of the Conrad ballroom at his work Xmas party on the Friday night. But with Will Buck in the squad the Taurs are used to needing last minute call ups and once again, Ayub was on hand to play. So a wonderful fast-medium yorker specialist was replaced by a superb left arm spinner…the only detriment to the team being that Hemmers had to step in as skipper…

Centaurs won the toss and had no hesitation in inserting the GR’s on a green top. Tanvir and Nas both bowled superbly, taking 3 and 2 wickets apiece. They were well backed up by Frithty, who helped himself to a couple and the spin twins of Ayub and Richard Gere (aka Merlin Molloy) who finished with combined figures of 16-1-72-1

So – 170 for victory…easy with our incredible batting line up…

Nas and Hemmers started confidently, but as ever, we made things hard for ourselves (so to speak). Hemmers, Dazzler and Frithy all departing quickly. Tanvir then joined Nas and they moved things along nicely before Nas was out. That brought Ducky Davies (Dicky’s younger brother) and he did not disappoint with a 3 ball 0 that carried all the hallmarks expected of the current Centaurs Duck of the Year…and more than impressed the new future Mrs Ducky who had travelled from the UK to watch him in action (so to speak), With Rodders also going quickly and Tanvir then out for an excellent 64 it was squeaky bum time and my hangover was worsening by the second.

Cometh the hour though, and a batting combo of Babar and Ayub saw us home with thrilling stroke play and 3 overs to spare.

MOM: Tanvir
Special Mention: Ayub

__Gay Lay Hung See - 11th Feb
By Paul Molloy

The Centaurs recorded an expected win against Sat League newcomers GLHS on Saturday.  We beat them comfortably earlier in the season, every other Sat Div 2 team has done the same, and this game provided a great opportunity to introduce some new players and also give some established Centaurs extended time with the bat and ball.

We won the toss and elected to bat. After N Frith was unlucky to glove an innocuous legside deliver with the score on 19, Hemshall (25) and K Frith (42) provided steady run accumulation and Buck-Glover provided the flair with a dashing 54 including multiple 6s. All other batsmen got starts and made the most of their limited batting opportunities, Childs, Campbell and Scott all falling towards the end forcing the pace in the interests of the team. 

225 was always going to be a winning score but we did struggle a little more than we should have to bowl out GLHS and it wasn't until the 33rd over that we claimed their last wicket; for a batting lineup whose developing techniques don't yet extend to hitting the ball off the square, the young GLHS team displayed admirable determination in defending their wickets and getting behind the rising ball.  All 5 bowlers took wickets, Barbar the most successful with 4 from his steady mediums. Quash bowled some genuinely quick deliveries in his first spell, Ayub was unlucky to get only 1 wicket from his 6 overs of quality spin, Buck-Glover cleared out some bowling cobwebs and there was a very encouraging debut from Will Campbell who took the new ball and finished with 2 wickets from his 8 overs.

Special mention to stand-in keepers Hemshall and Scott who shared the gloves as well as their fair share of bruises from the notoriously uneven Police fielding surface.

A quirk of the game was that 6 of the 7 Centaurs dismissals were to catches behind the wicket, but none of GLHS's dismissals were to catches - 5 bowled, 3 LBW, 1 Stumped (well done, rookie Rohan Scott) and 1 Run Out.

Laguna Gully - 19th Nov

A must win game for the Taurs against the relatively weak Laguna Gully. Need I remind you that this is the mob that Royce McDonald blew away with a series of long hops, taking 6 for 20 odd. Molloy and I had the misfortune of umpiring this nonsense and his triumphalism was not pretty…Defeat was not an option…

After some serious wrist strengthening work I got my toss back, winning and electing to bat. In Hemmers absence (running the Clearwater Bay School Punch & Judy Show – he has promised a repeat at the End of Season) Babar opened with Nas and got us off to a fast start with a quick-fire 21. K Frith failed at 3. N.Frith at 4 was a different story though, producing a strong performance with 35 crucial runs, supporting Tanvir’s brutish 68 elegantly. At least it was elegant until they went for a quick single and Neil managed to pull not one but both hamstrings…how do you do that!? Anyway, Frith K leapt at the chance of being a runner (special thanks to Laguna for allowing this actually as I had forgotten this is now not allowed), although did seem to spend a lot of his time trying to run Tanvir out protecting his own wicket – Neil had to have a quiet word and remind him he was already out and could not improve his average as a runner…

For once the lower order kept the momentum in the innings with a fantastic 29* from Ian “I may not win the bath duck award this season” Childs, ably supported in potentially his last Taurs game by Guy Locke.

So – 222-6 which is an excellent score

In reply, Laguna never really got out of the traps, losing regular wickets. Every bowler took a wicket, which was rather sweet, and we had a welcome return to Taur colours for the first time in 83 years for VC Paul Molloy…who bowled a nice 6 over spell and hopefully got all his long hops out of his system for the season…

So a 75 run win and the train is back on the track

__United Taipans - 12th Nov

After a long layoff we were back to HKU again for the top of the table clash with the Taipans

A sh1t  tossing display from me saw my unbeaten record go and the Pans batted first. The pre-match fielding practice then worked its magic as we gave an excellent performance dismissing the Taipans for 179 with 5 balls to spare. Notable bowling performances from Tanvir (2-27), Nas (3-39), Frith (2-49) and our 1 millionth debutant of the season (in a squad of 30…) Ayub who bowled awesomely for his 2-32 (special thanks to Will Buck for pulling out at the last minute with a massive hangover workload that allowed Ayub in).

So – job half done with a superb batting line up to knock the runs off in double quick time and be home for tea and crumpets…

Hemmers, who has not played an attacking stroke since his hair style was in fashion chose this precise moment and his 2nd ball faced to try a Dilshan style flick over long leg, topping it straight to mid-wicket, the promoted Ian Childs (Frithy was in the bathroom brushing his teeth) and Neil Frith both came and went in double quick time. 10-3. Nas and Tanvir took us to 50 before falling. 50-5 and borderline f*cked. Frithy K then quite literally dazzled his way to a superb 57 not out bringing us back into the match. Mike Davies contributed a superb golden duck (high elbow on that air-shot cover drive though) meaning the race to retain the season award of the bathroom duck has begun in earnest. Babar, Brams and Dicko all made useful but not defining contributions and we came up 30 odd runs short.

So a very frustrating afternoon ended in another defeat.

B*gger

__Lamma - 15th Oct

A return to HKU where we have a quite shocking record. Primarily because we normally play HKU there, and they normally have Hussein Butt playing for them who rather likes our bowling.

Fortunately this time we did not have HKU, and instead had Lamma, containing not 1 but 2 McDonalds….giddy up…

But would you believe it….would you f’ing believe it…they have also poached Hussein Butt in to the bloody team and b*gger me if he didn’t demolish us again…

The facts:
  • Tosser Dickinson won the toss AGAIN – god I’m good
  • Messrs Jenson, Hemmers and Frith K batted like, well like true Taurs and got us to 16 for 3
  • Nas and Tanvir then batter like, well like Nas and Tanvir, and put on 150 for the 4th wicket (scoring 65 and 93 respectively) with Tanvir out to a ridiculous catch on the boundary
  • Childs, Frith, Babar and Dickinson then scored 10 runs between us (gifting Brenton bloody McD 3 wickets in the process – Royce could barely see through his steamed up spectacles)
  • Rodders saved us some dignity with a lusty 24* at the end
  • Lamma then batted like the 1 man team they are, aided and abetted by Messrs Nasir, Hemmers, Dickinson and Jenson all dropping Butt on his way to 154*, seeing the dope heads home with 4 wickets and an over to spare
  • B*gger

As ever with the Taurs, our out catching cost us the game and is something we need to work on


__SCC Lancers - 8th Oct

These gits beat us by a wicket last season so it was an important one for us to win. Taurs skipper Dicko won yet another magnificent toss (what a tosser I am actually…) and elected to watch Hemmers dribble about with the bat. Dazzler Jenson joined him as opener with Nas electing to play a 2 day super league match ahead of a crucial Saturday League Div 2 brow beater (the bloody nerve). Anyway, Dazzler played beautifully for 48. Hemmers wibbled his way to 20 but a start is a start as they say. In at 3 was the returning teeth that is Keith Frith, who had been giving Hemmers a torrid slagging from the side lines about how slowly he was scoring. He then proceeded to score the same score as Hemmer in precisely double the number of balls faced… As ever with Frithy though he drew out the positives in his performance, citing, quite rightly that he contributed to an 85 run partnership in about 40 balls. 

The main/sole contributor of that partnership was Taur debutant Tanvir Afzal. Tanvir has given us plenty of pain over the years (who can forget THAT over at Kai Tak from Arby when both bowler and batsmen started their respective run in and advance down the wicket at the same time) so it is really rather nice having him on our side. 

Tanvir effectively took the game away from Lancers with 80 from 30 balls. When he was out we all remembered our roles and Messrs Childs, Munro and Dickinson all batted like arses. But 214 for 7 was a very good score at the fake luscious PKVR.

Tanvir then continued to persuade me that Man Love does exist with figures of 7.1-2-15-4. BUT….they weren’t even the best figures of the day with Keith Frith’s teeth disoriented the batsmen to such an extent that he finished with a quite remarkable 4-1-11-5!! Well done Frithy.

The match also saw another debutant in Charlie Wood who produced an astonishing array of beamers that would have Brett Lee in all his vile cheating pomp feeling rather fraudulent as a beamer specialist. But Charlie did pick up the other wicket so well done to him.

The other special mention should go to Rodders who kept beautifully and took 4 catches behind the stumps AND had the rugby live and exclusive on his i-phone…What. A. Guy…

So – Lancers all out for 99 and Taurs 3 from 3….too easy I hear you cry-  well – read the next 2 match reports…

Gay Lay Hung See - 1st Oct

Saturday saw the long anticipated return to Centaurs colours of yours truly after a year pretending I was injured or on holiday. The oppo was the new Chinese development squad team and whilst it is a great initiative by all involved, safe to say they need to develop at a fair click if they want to be competitive in Sat league. So Taurs won by 6 wickets.

The highlights:

  • Taurs won the toss and inserted on the basis Eng v Sco kicked off at 3.30
  • Quashid and new boy Will were late and are both safely recorded in the fines book. We bowled quite a few wides but interspersed that with some good stuff, especially from Babar Ali and Barrister Brettell who snaffled 3 wickets apiece. They would have got 4 apiece had Skipper not dropped 2 exceptionally hard chances at mid-off. The 2nd one was a particularly tough one, requiring me to take one whole step to my right as the ball lobed to me in a gentle arc...
  • Skipper and Brammar brought themselves on at the end sensing the opportunity for very cheap wickets. Brammar returned figures of 0.1-0-0-1 and has officially retired from bowling for the season
  • The batting order was mixed up a bit and everyone did ok, albeit in a mad rush as the time was ticking on. Anyway, game over at 3.10 and everyone away by 3.15 is not a bad Sat arvo – thank god England beat the sweaties…

So – 2 from 2 and all going well but we have played probably our 2 easiest matches of the season so need to step up from now on.

Mainlanders - 10th Sept

The following weekend saw the start of the real business for the Taurs – our quest for promotion from the newly formed Sat League Championship Div 2. Again, I was still swanning around the UK so Hemmers again stepped into skipper the team and we started with another squeaky bum cliff hanger, this time the Taurs sneaking home by 1 run (I think).

The highlights:

  • Taurs scored 192-6 with contributions from Nas (51), Hemmers (31), Brams (remember him!!) (27) and Tim A, Barrister Brettell and Guy Locke
  • In reply the Mainlanders 12 year olds ran us close and finished on 191 all out
  • Barrister B was the pick of the bowlers with 3-30

So a great start to the season and well done to all who played!