CCC vs Centaurs - Centenary Blockbuster
By Steve Brammar
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In a splendid day out for all the family, the Centaurs cantered to victory against CCC on Saturday afternoon in the luxurious surrondings of Royal HKCC.
The captains dispensed with the pre-match toss of a coin, which after 100 years as the method of choice for determining who will bat first, is regarded as "old hat" and "too low tech" by Uncle Gopal who is pioneering a new approach: the pre-match phone conversation. Under this revolutionary method the 2 captains call each other on the afternoon before the game to discuss their preference and, if one wants to bat first and one wants to field first, then, hey presto, the matter is resolved. We are not yet sure what happens if both captains want to bat first - presumably the captain with the best negotiating skills will prevail. Not only does this new approach increase the chances of both captains obtaining satisfaction from the preliminary exchange, but it should also increase the sales of Zinoki phones ("Made by the hard of hearing. Used by the hard of thinking"). If the ICC has the good sense to introduce this new approach at test level, then I am assured that Zinoki phones' conference facility will enable Mark Nicholas to be "patched in" and that the Zinoki "Roamer 2003" has an antenna feature specially designed for the penetration of cricket pitches allowing Tony Greig to test the playing surface's moisture content. The hands free headset is, unfortunately, back in the testing lab after becoming dangerously entangled in the tester's red cravatte / dribble bib in an incident which only narrowly avoided the ripping of stitches and spilling of entrails.
The result of the phone call was that CCC batted first. In a start to the match which reflected the last 7 or so years of our first 100, only 9 Centaurs were present at 1.15pm. Chandrin was delayed when he ran out of shaving cream only half way through creating his art deco Prince-meets-Salvador-Dali "beard". Yasir had been detained by the fashion police somewhere in Kowloon.
Uncle and Ali opened the bowling and immediately applied pressure. Mark Eames, after stroking 2 elegant fours, edged a Refaqat delivery from the corridor of uncertainty into the gloves of uncertainty. This time they held firm and CCC's master batsmen was out for 11, caught Hemshall bowled Ali. A period of tight bowling by Uncle, Ali, Chandrin and Imran followed and at drinks CCC were about 60 for 2.
Lordy-lad and Sick Note were introduced into the attack and as soon as SN pitched up he was rewarded with 2 wickets in consecutive balls. On a hat trick, the field came in and SN produced a short, rising brute of a delivery (translator's note 1: "short, rising brute of a delivery" should be read to mean "another rank long hop"). Chandrin made good ground towards the skied top edge and narrowly failed to hold on to what would have been a brilliant catch and a brilliant hat trick (translator's note 2: "made good ground towards the skied top edge and narrowly failed to hold on to what would have been a brilliant catch and a brilliant hat trick" should be read to mean "moved towards the ball like a felled tree and, thankfully, failed to allow SN a hat trick we would never have heard the last of").
Chandrin more than made up for the spilled chance by bowling a line that frequently induced edges. Unfortunately, having taken the catch to dismiss Mark Eames, ex-skips seemed to have soaked the gloves in concrete in a display which was reminiscent of the days when I kept wicket or of an enthusiastic seven year old who's just received some cymbals for Christmas.
Yasir bowled well at the end of the innings after Andrew took a good catch, Chandrin and Lordy-lad combined to produce a brilliant run out and Shane applauded himself (like an Ocean Park seal that wants to be thrown another fish) before taking a skier. Gopal, showing limited understanding of the phrase "friendly pre-dinner centenary game against amiable old duffers" brought back Ali for a fiery spell of bodyline in the last few overs.
Net result: CCC 147 for 9.
Imran and Andrew clouted the ball to all parts - Andrew making his first 50 as a Centaur. Let's hope it's the first of many. Shane and I got our heads down and (allowing the spectators to do the same) saw the 'Taurs home. Accusations of batting for averages or aiming to hit the winning runs so as to be recorded forever in the history of this proud club could not be wider of the mark. This was a selfless piece of batting by 2 committed, dedicated club men who took responsibility when it mattered and steered the 'Taurs from a perilous position to seal a great victory in the manner of Graeme Thorpe in Karachi in 2000. Or something.
The celebration dinner was a jolly affair in a room at RHKCC overflowing with goodwill and bonhomie. Craigengower and the Cricket Club did us proud and the 'Taurs (particularly Uncle, Immy and Ali) showed why we are renowned as the funkiest Centaurs / Civil Service team since Charles "Pigbag" Parsonby-Smarsonby and Roger "Get on the Good Foot" Wrigglesworth's Civil Service touring side won the Papua New Guinean limbo dancing championships in 1927.
Many thanks to all who attended and made the evening such fun and to Gopes for organising the event.
Rgds
Ex-Ex-Skips
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In a splendid day out for all the family, the Centaurs cantered to victory against CCC on Saturday afternoon in the luxurious surrondings of Royal HKCC.
The captains dispensed with the pre-match toss of a coin, which after 100 years as the method of choice for determining who will bat first, is regarded as "old hat" and "too low tech" by Uncle Gopal who is pioneering a new approach: the pre-match phone conversation. Under this revolutionary method the 2 captains call each other on the afternoon before the game to discuss their preference and, if one wants to bat first and one wants to field first, then, hey presto, the matter is resolved. We are not yet sure what happens if both captains want to bat first - presumably the captain with the best negotiating skills will prevail. Not only does this new approach increase the chances of both captains obtaining satisfaction from the preliminary exchange, but it should also increase the sales of Zinoki phones ("Made by the hard of hearing. Used by the hard of thinking"). If the ICC has the good sense to introduce this new approach at test level, then I am assured that Zinoki phones' conference facility will enable Mark Nicholas to be "patched in" and that the Zinoki "Roamer 2003" has an antenna feature specially designed for the penetration of cricket pitches allowing Tony Greig to test the playing surface's moisture content. The hands free headset is, unfortunately, back in the testing lab after becoming dangerously entangled in the tester's red cravatte / dribble bib in an incident which only narrowly avoided the ripping of stitches and spilling of entrails.
The result of the phone call was that CCC batted first. In a start to the match which reflected the last 7 or so years of our first 100, only 9 Centaurs were present at 1.15pm. Chandrin was delayed when he ran out of shaving cream only half way through creating his art deco Prince-meets-Salvador-Dali "beard". Yasir had been detained by the fashion police somewhere in Kowloon.
Uncle and Ali opened the bowling and immediately applied pressure. Mark Eames, after stroking 2 elegant fours, edged a Refaqat delivery from the corridor of uncertainty into the gloves of uncertainty. This time they held firm and CCC's master batsmen was out for 11, caught Hemshall bowled Ali. A period of tight bowling by Uncle, Ali, Chandrin and Imran followed and at drinks CCC were about 60 for 2.
Lordy-lad and Sick Note were introduced into the attack and as soon as SN pitched up he was rewarded with 2 wickets in consecutive balls. On a hat trick, the field came in and SN produced a short, rising brute of a delivery (translator's note 1: "short, rising brute of a delivery" should be read to mean "another rank long hop"). Chandrin made good ground towards the skied top edge and narrowly failed to hold on to what would have been a brilliant catch and a brilliant hat trick (translator's note 2: "made good ground towards the skied top edge and narrowly failed to hold on to what would have been a brilliant catch and a brilliant hat trick" should be read to mean "moved towards the ball like a felled tree and, thankfully, failed to allow SN a hat trick we would never have heard the last of").
Chandrin more than made up for the spilled chance by bowling a line that frequently induced edges. Unfortunately, having taken the catch to dismiss Mark Eames, ex-skips seemed to have soaked the gloves in concrete in a display which was reminiscent of the days when I kept wicket or of an enthusiastic seven year old who's just received some cymbals for Christmas.
Yasir bowled well at the end of the innings after Andrew took a good catch, Chandrin and Lordy-lad combined to produce a brilliant run out and Shane applauded himself (like an Ocean Park seal that wants to be thrown another fish) before taking a skier. Gopal, showing limited understanding of the phrase "friendly pre-dinner centenary game against amiable old duffers" brought back Ali for a fiery spell of bodyline in the last few overs.
Net result: CCC 147 for 9.
Imran and Andrew clouted the ball to all parts - Andrew making his first 50 as a Centaur. Let's hope it's the first of many. Shane and I got our heads down and (allowing the spectators to do the same) saw the 'Taurs home. Accusations of batting for averages or aiming to hit the winning runs so as to be recorded forever in the history of this proud club could not be wider of the mark. This was a selfless piece of batting by 2 committed, dedicated club men who took responsibility when it mattered and steered the 'Taurs from a perilous position to seal a great victory in the manner of Graeme Thorpe in Karachi in 2000. Or something.
The celebration dinner was a jolly affair in a room at RHKCC overflowing with goodwill and bonhomie. Craigengower and the Cricket Club did us proud and the 'Taurs (particularly Uncle, Immy and Ali) showed why we are renowned as the funkiest Centaurs / Civil Service team since Charles "Pigbag" Parsonby-Smarsonby and Roger "Get on the Good Foot" Wrigglesworth's Civil Service touring side won the Papua New Guinean limbo dancing championships in 1927.
Many thanks to all who attended and made the evening such fun and to Gopes for organising the event.
Rgds
Ex-Ex-Skips